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Girl #2

November 4, 2009

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” F Dickens and his passive aggressive poetic sugar-coating! It’s sh*t hole mess, deep-fried in Friday night booze, topped with sex dreams about vampire movies. I’m 25 years old, married, and have two kids. With that being said I could pick my vibrator out of a line up before my husband.

I don’t know how this happened, but somewhere along the way I stopped trying, stopped caring, and got my margarita on! Girl #1 and I are ignored, underappreciated, and bored. So we’ve decided to stop allowing our mind-numbing spouses to drain the life out of us and do something about it!!! I may sound like another typical wrinkly vag man basher, but Monday – Thursday we do our part: manage the kids, clean the house, go to the office, dinner blah blah blah. So on the weekends we’re sexy, were sassy, and somewhere in this sex forsaken town we are getting our margarita on!

We’ve decided to conical this crazy ride, because well basically it’s getting that good! Granted neither of us really expect anyone to read any of this, but for any poor soul who happens to stumble upon it know this: You may laugh, you may cry, you might even throw out a few hail Marys on behalf of my moral demise, but you will follow the adventures of two women living life, if only on the weekends!

My vow: is to also be honest in a real life best to my recollection sort of way. There’s no guarantee that it’s always going to be pretty, but its our lives and at the end of the day I am thankful for the ride and my bestie girl #1. Without her I would knee deep in empty Slurpee cups and have five hour dates with Facebook on Friday nights.

May I also welcome you to our experiment!



Girl #1

November 4, 2009

Hi! I’m writing mostly our of frustration, or spite, or mid-life crisis or whatever it is that happens to someone when they suddenly realize that all the terrible decisions that they made in their twenties have added up to a big old f***ing mess of a life and they aren’t happy, never have been happy, never will be happy, unless they make a change to something, anything really…so a blog it is…maybe that’ll be enough change to alter reality…

But change is HARD!!! Very hard, more than hard, seemingly impossible. Terribly impossible because of all those darned decisions that you made when you were young and stupid. I couldn’t count the number of conversations I’ve had with myself over those dumb decisions.

This first blog is to get it all out of the way. To stop making decisions and start living for me, post decisions and not limit myself anymore or define myself based on those decisions.

No one will probably ever read this and if they do, GOD help them because I am going to just say what I think. Write it all down when I think it and this could get very interesting. I’m also going to share this experience with Girl #2, a kindred spirit and a dear friend. We don’t always agree, but our conversations are always comical and definitely never boring. I’ll share a quote from our daily text in a moment…you’ll see what I mean.

My vow: This blog will be a true and accurate, if sometimes cynical and offensive; outlook on what is my life and the life of Girl #2. Accuracy aside, I would also like to note that I am cataloging a time in my life and as many of my memories that have led me to this point out of compassion for others who may feel the same way that I do at this point in their lives and maybe they don’t have a blog that they can use to spew out all the garbage, creative as it may be, that they have trapped in their heads and sub-consciences.

Ok, welcome to our experiment….


Girl #1: I need to get out of the office…I’m starting to go a little crazy…

Girl#2: I need to get out of my life…I’m going a little crazy…

Girl#1: Ok, you beat me…I’m in denial about my life…

Girl #2: It’s like the housing market…we’re sucked up in bad loans and can’t sell so to improve our situation, we need to revovate…

Girl #1: Renovate!?! I need to rent mine out and take up in a newer model…

Girl #2: Hahaha! Was it Courger Town where they were standing in line at the grocery store saying that the baggers were their future ex-husbands? LOL

Girl #1: Yeah, I need to find a 6’2″ dark hair, light eyes, wide shouldered manly man who can dance bagger…

Girl #2: you gotta give them a few years to let their testoterone sink in LOL

Girl #1: Can’t wait that long…